Sleepless Dreams (June 2007).

I will not be beaten or fall or flee
I leave this world on my terms alone
Without that which I do not feel
I would be, in the end, freed
From the noises of a life that does not want me;
A cage without bars holds me fast,
Hid from sky, sun and stars;

The beast consumes me and demands.
Demands respect but deserving g of none,
The heir of fire spits his hot words of poison
And jealous suspicion that are his tools.
A legacy of despair and mistrust.
The battle is not ended
And I shall be the victor.

Hiding spells in place,
It cannot find me in the dark, while
No longer knowing my face.
Pretence is my shield against spiteful words
I fool myself, it cannot hurt what does not feel.
Hissing chatter haunts my sleepless dreams;
Full of venom, acid that could burn through stone
If I would let it. Daring not say to my face
What is freely whispered behind me
They are unconscious agents of the beast
But their work is incomplete.

My world nurtures none. In cold solitude
I raise my shield against all. My sword,
Independence, is Powered by fragile integrity,
And raised as I dance an endless final waltz with Despair.
Apathy unsheathes is claws and, yawning,
Casts clammy lures in the core of me.
The weak feed it as it harvests the fear of cowards.
The break of day crashes on me.
Unstoppable, eternal it leaves darkness in its wake.
Lives are enjoyed around me by oblivious others,
Deaf to the monotone roar of a billion clocks
Keeping track of wasted time and chances.

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