Record of Pain. (13 August 2007)

Worked late again,
Numbing some unnamed pain,
Knowledge of a love turned hate
Heart lost under a crushing weight;
Lost in a battlefield of wills and control.

This is neither life nor living,
Unforgiving, trespassing on privacy,
Betrayals of trust and love. Woe
Leaves me inert and afraid to do what I must;
Break free and go my own way. Away
From the cruel game played by life and love.

Recollections of love are a foggy haze. Reduced
To nought but memories of bygone days. I,
Am soaked with the stench of regret but
No tears come.
I am dry.

The more it hurts the more I hide from a world
That has forgotten me. Last night’s dry cries
Are a mile from me; I am not that girl.
In grief for dead love
Held despite cost, I mourn for wasted time;
He did not love me.

The empty monster that is not me sneers
From the mirror I can’t look in.
It taunts me and mocks my pleas
For painless quiet release.
In endless, dreamless, sleep.

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