Grainne Gillis: Is Masculinity in Crisis?


After reading this article in the HuffPost UK, I really had to make a few comments about general equality.  Society just declaring the matter of equality over with and brushing it aside is not solving it. I am a feminist.  The dictionary type so don’t run away just yet.

I am one of those mums who has to stay home because childcare is just so expensive (it would swallow everything I earned plus a sizable chunk of my husbands wage, and I would have no quality time with my boys).  Yes, it’s better for them but I am champing at the bit for them to be in school so I can do something that doesn’t involve the kids.  Just once. It will not be like this forever (the knowledge of which is probably keeping me sane) but I am likely to have to start from scratch careerwise. This is despite my current experience and the fact that while looking after 3 small children I am working through a degree to make sure I’m at least semi-employable when the time comes.

Don’t get me wrong.  I adore my children.  My middle boy is saying his first words and my youngest is such a happy smiley little monkey I could stare at him for hours. My eldest will be at school full time in september so I will have a whole new lot of firsts to look forward too.  That said, I have no wish to turn into my mother and I am temperamentally unsuited for this to be an indefinite arrangement.  What I do is not easy and mostly thankless.  My dissatisfaction is not helped by the fact my role in the popular press is portrayed as lazy or indolent. Nor is it helped by the fact that a not-insignificant proportion of mothers who work, or women without children, look on me as lazy and a bad example: an affront to feminism. Women in my position really can’t win.  We get slated by all sides (apart from our own). I wonder what would happen if all the unpaid carers and volunteers actually got the social recognition they deserve instead of being sidelined because it’s not paid? (Society would probably die of shock.) 

The point is, it was not just a choice made for the good of the children.  I wish that it could have been so.  We had to come to this decision due to what came down to a financial situation.  We would be no better off financially if I went back to work now, than in my current position.  In the UK, unless you qualify for free childcare, or have family onside to provide it, going back to work after having kids is a luxury few but the rich can afford.  That is not equality. That is privilege. What we can’t contribute in taxes is made up in other ways and it’s about time we weren’t treated like a waste of space unworthy of consideration. 

Shared parenting

My husband took the kids to the park the other day and was asked if he was minding them for the day (when it’s your own, gents, it’s not babysitting: its parenting). He is proud of the fact that he is involved with the kids and he doesn’t consider his chosen part to be over and above what is due from a father. One can’t help but feel that the main barrier to fathers having equal recognition as parents and ‘main caregivers’ is actually other women and their behaviour (refer to yesterday’s Woman’s Hour BBC R4.  Available on BBC iPlayer) or the reception men get while out with their kids. The ‘hands-on’ or even ‘stay at home’ dad should not be a novelty.  It should not even be an issue. It should be down to the couple, and whichever of them (if either) stays at home, they neither deserve to be relegated to the margins nor pity. These are men not shy to be seen taking equal responsibility: the traditionally women’s role.  (Tradition is just another word for habit and not every habit is positive.) These are not men who feel their masculinity threatened by taking up an active role in the care of their nippers and that should be the true test.

Free time for stay at home mums… (shock horror)

One of the comments after the article which prompted this post…

12 hours ago (13:19)

I’m told that women earn 13% less than men.

I’m a shift worker. When I go to the gym in the day it’s full of women. The car par is full of 4x4s. The pool is also full of women, swimming in flotillas, keeping their hair dry, and the ridiculously priced gym restaurant is full of women, lunching. Its like all the men in the world have died! And the ladies all disappear at 2:45 PM. These women don’t strike me as second class citizens. They strike me as the lucky ones.

 

All those women at the gym etc, that this guy is wittering about being ‘lucky’, were probably mothers with children at school and that is the only time they get for themselves.  That is not lucky, that is them taking a well deserved break and no less than they should expect.  Or are we supposed to let ourselves go to seed and spend all the time not looking after children, confined to our homes up to our elbows in dishwater, smelly nappies and his laundry? Some sort of social punishment for not being in paid employment perhaps?

 

Rudeness and ‘Real men’

The writer opened with a story about a man berating a pregnant woman on a bus, about equality, for expecting a priority seat (clearly signed). He claimed that he could have been disabled/elderly/ etc, the point being no doubt, he did  not see why a pregnant woman should expect a seat on a bus.  I will add here to those that really don’t get it, that when you are pregnant, your center of gravity moves forward and your balance is impaired, add to this far looser ligaments, and a sudden stop could cause a fall… I don’t think I need to elaborate further on that point. My point is that he was being disgusting and selfish and attempting to use ‘equality’ as an excuse for being so.  Men (NOT ALL MEN, might I add, just the few who seem to think the rules of courtesy don’t apply and will use any excuse to justify it to themselves), who say ‘well you want equality‘  after being utterly beastly to someone as a means to justify their behaviour, are not ‘real’ men (This is also a gross presumption, as the lady in question might not, and who are they to declare what someone else wants, as if they are unable to work that out for themselves). Real men act with decency, empathy and consideration, regardless who is on the other end, and for it’s own sake.  That is equality

I am pleased to say I know a great many of such people (My husband (goes without saying), long list of other male family members (you don’t want me to elaborate, trust me), Al Stefanelli, Reap Paden, Brian Allen, Seth Andrews, Lee Moore, Justin Vacula, Hemley Gonzalez and many, many others) and I am honoured to call them ‘friend’. Those in a certain ‘movement’ (farce) with the atheist circle, would like nothing more than for the world to think ill of some of them because they have dared to stand up to the hectoring and cognitive-dissonance-riddled ramblings of a handful of people who think they own, lead and speak for atheism.  They don’t, and these good men have more class in their little toes than the whole lot of the aforementioned crowd put together.


Grainne Gillis: Is Masculinity in Crisis?
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Feminism vs. Humanism: “The Same Thing”? Not According to the Dictionary…


Because I have just had a lengthy conversation with someone insisting that humanism and feminism are the same thing, I have decided to post this. I even got them to acknowledge that it is not up to them how individuals chose to identify themselves (not that he stopped.  Rude). He did that annoying thing that the A+ers do: assume that disagreement=ignorance (really, don’t do that. It’s rude too).  The response was a dismissal of contradictory definition of feminism as wishful thinking, while applying a completely aberrated definition to humanism.  In order to clear this up, as he somewhat precipitously left the conversation as soon as I posted the real definition (rude). The actual definitions are below, and he hopefully can see for himself that ‘Feminism’ is not a redundant term and nor is ‘humanism’ an equivalent. An example of what I just came up against can be found at http://redcelt.net/blog/?p=161

Definition of humanism [1]

noun [mass noun]

  • a rationalist outlook or system of thought attaching prime importance to human rather than divine or supernatural matters.
  • (often Humanism) a Renaissance cultural movement which turned away from medieval scholasticism and revived interest in ancient Greek and Roman thought.
  • (among some contemporary writers) a system of thought criticized as being centred on the notion of the rational, autonomous self and ignoring the conditioned nature of the individual.

Derivatives

humanist

noun & adjective

humanistic

adjective

humanistically

 

So there we have it.  Nothing to do with equality and nothing to do with gender. Humanism is an outlook derived from non supernatural reasoning.  That is all.  Whereas…

Definition of feminism [2]

noun

[mass noun]

  • the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.

The issue of rights for women first became prominent during the French and American revolutions in the late 18th century. In Britain it was not until the emergence of the suffragette movement in the late 19th century that there was significant political change. A ‘second wave’ of feminism arose in the 1960s, with an emphasis on unity and sisterhood; seminal figures included Betty Friedan and Germaine Greer

And again this is simply term to denote equal rights to women, not more rights, not special treatment, and nothing to do with rejection of supernatural explanations.

 

Conclusion

  1. The two are not the same and they are not interchangeable.
  2. Misunderstanding of one does not render the other redundant.
  3. If you are going to insist on accuracy, at least make sure you understand the definitions of the words you are quibbling over.

 

Sources.

  1. Definition of humanism in Oxford Dictionaries British & World English.
  2. http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/feminism?q=feminism

 

Also see

 

 

 

Follow me on Goodreads and Kindle.com


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If you Live in Thurrock and are Planning a Move, Avoid this Shower


http://www.removalsstoragesolutions.com/

They call themselves Removers and Storers and this bunch are a disgrace. They sent a lorry that was too small (after doing a visual quote), failed to pack a load of our stuff and damaged our property yet somehow their incompetence is our fault!

My initial letter

We are extremely unhappy with what we consider to be very shoddy service.

I have broken down the myriad of reasons we are dissatisfied, such as the quantity not packed, mess caused, damage to furniture and general conduct, but hope that we can come to a prompt and amiable resolution.

Packing:

  • Spilled used cat litter all over carpet upstairs, and over two of our cats in their carrier, causing us unnecessary delay to tidy it up. Just left for us to discover it and for my cats to sit in. Mixed the pile for the charity shop and the dump up with other belongings in bedroom causing me unnecessary delay to re-sort, while I needed to be packing.
  • Commenting repeatedly on time getting on, after having caused me extra work while I’m furiously packing (single handed for most of it) and trying to care for a crying infant at the same time, they were standing chatting at the van (witnessed by my husband on his return from some errands). This time could surely have been more effectively put to use with packing the kitchen and the contents of the sheds which were ready to go when they arrived but did the living room in bits (bar my desk). Offered to ‘help’ pack for an extra £100. We did turn this down, but I was under the impression we had requested packing.
  • Failure to pack various items despite repeated requests to do so, and that I suggested they do the sheds first. Items left behind are as follows.

Inside

  • The entire contents of airing cupboard. (now collected by my husband)
  • Travel cot, (now collected by my husband)

Outside:

  • Garden broom, (£30)
  • Bamboo canes, (£20)
  • None of the large gardening equipment, (£50)
  • tiki lamp and oil: lamp (now collected by my husband)
  • Umbrella stand, (now collected by my husband).
  • Tarpaulins, (now collected by my husband)
  • kids paddling pool, (now collected by my husband)
  • Shelves and cover (now collected by my husband)for propagator frame (£90 for new set as it’s unusable without the shelves),
  • None of the 20 plant pots that I said I wanted at the initial survey went onto the van (£250 for remaining pots and new plants), some have now been collected but nowhere near all of them. They did not even try!
  • One of the two white folding chairs, (now collected by my husband)
  • Set of shelves in small shed, (£20)
  • pet cage and carriers in small shed (£120),

***

  • Fuel for extra trips to collect what your men left behind has so far been £60.

Upon Unpacking:

  • The boxes were just dumped in pile in living room with no discerning order or divided by room. While we appreciate that we said we didn’t mind shifting boxes into rooms ourselves, some sense of order would have been appreciated and even expected from people who do this for a living. Due to the mixture it took me nearly two hours to find my children’s’ bedding.
  • 2 broken wine glasses £10 for new. Box very clearly marked as ‘fragile -glassware’ had been dumped at bottom of a pile of heavy boxes.
  • Trod mud through house on to newly cleaned carpets. No effort initially made to prevent it, and did not wait to find a doormat. It took more than an hour to clear it up this morning.
  • A mark has been left on new paint in the hall that & won’t come off, that we will have to explain to the lettings company.
  • One of your staff was extremely rude to one of our new neighbours before we had even arrived, and bragged about it as if he were proud of it. I am extremely unimpressed and would like to know which of our neighbours it was so I can extend an apology and maybe repair some of the damage. I make a point of being friendly and courteous to my neighbours and your man’s behaviour will reflect badly on me. Your man may think it was funny to be rude when a neighbour complained about where they parked, but I certainly do not. It’s not him that will now have to deal with the fallout from that, as anyone familiar with good customer services will know.
  • Our bikes and bbq were not taken through to the garden, but just left unlocked on the sodden front lawn damaging it in the process. I eventually had to pull them in myself.
  • White Ikea wardrobe. Front left leg broken off and rear left damaged (see above photos (now below) leaving the structural integrity compromise and is not repairable. There is also a deep scratch across the front of the right hand door, and a hole knocked in the back. Not only was the damage done but it was deliberately hidden, not mentioned to me or my husband and left for me to discover. When I tilted the unit to put it where I wanted it, the broken leg which had been pushed into place by one of your staff, fell away causing wardrobe to fall forward. I require a refund of £60 for the new unit. This is doubly serious as it now poses a real safety risk to my children and I will have the inconvenience and expense of disposing of the damaged unit.

Total cost to us = £620

I was told the lorry was not big enough, and that due to time they would not do a second trip because they were worried about getting home. I don’t really consider that to have been our problem we were already paying for their time. I can only say that they should have parked elsewhere, and brought a bigger truck. I will cost us nearly the entire price of the move to replace the items left your men behind, and damaged, and for fuel to collect what we could ourselves. Considering that your quotation was based on a visual survey carried out by you, and we were assured that it would be moved in one trip, we are greatly dissatisfied with the service we received, and we consider your company to be in breach of contract. I hereby claim the value (£620) of goods lost and damaged, to be returned to us without delay. As I said above, I hope we can settle this amicably.

Regards,

At first he was going to just ignore me and flat out denied it. Only when I got Sean involved, did the sexist bastard even attempt to rectify it and I finally go this load of bollocks back.

Their shitty reply plus my rebuttals:

So your men are liars as well as incompetent.


REPORT – Cat litter tip out :- never see any cat litter unless it was under piles of clothes on floor up stairs , plus cats were taken to cattery.

False: the cats had not been taken to the cattery until after we left for Gillingham. They were in their cat carriers and I rounded them up while your men were there. They were in the small bedroom. This is because I needed their vaccination paperwork which was in the van and we had to wait an hour for them to unload the filing box they were in. Once we had them, my husband took them to the cattery and went back for the first load of belongings your staff had not been able to fit on the lorry.

REPORT – Your husband moved the items off the bed as we wanted to move it and then you walked into the room asking him what he was doing

False: the stuff for the charity shop was at the top of the stairs. I was asked about this when your men arrived. When I went upstairs to continue packing the bedroom, it had all been moved back into the master bedroom and mixed with other belongings

REPORT – Chatting in lorry:- we were having a break and a cup of tea Mrs Johnstone made us. We also spoke to customers about us packing but there would be an extra charge of £200, Mrs Johnstone said she would not pay and that we would have to wait and then changed time to pick up new house keys from 12.30 to 14.30, this is when we took a break to let them pack. When returning from break some improvement had been made but not much so we starting packing e.g. disconnecting TV , cable box and computers and boxing up, leads discs as much as we could do to help customer.

When we originally quoted for the job, we did not mention or quote for any type of packing service, just to supply the materials.

False: It does not take 40 mins to drink a cup of tea. I note you still fail to mention why the areas which were ready on their arrival were left until last. Even when they were doing cables etc the kitchen was still full of boxes and the garden had not been touched. I would not have had to postpone the collection of keys had I not had to stop what I was doing to re-sort the stuff for the charity shop or the mess made of the cat litter.

REPORT – We had waited until 2.30 and could not wait any longer and the customer had not packed the items.

False: Time was not the issue. The lorry you sent was full and would not hold any more. This is also what your men repeatedly told my husband.

The entire contents of airing cupboard. (now collected by my husband)

REPORT – We had waited until 2.30 and could not wait any longer and the customer had not packed the items.

False: the contents of the airing cupboard was bagged up and ready to go, it was just stacked in there to save space on a very narrow landing. I specifically told you man this who said he would do it first.

Travel cot, (now collected by my husband)

REPORT – We had waited until 2.30 and could not wait any longer and the customer had not packed the items.

False: Our travel cot was in the living room and ready to go when your men arrived.

Outside:

  • Garden broom, (£30)
  • Bamboo canes, (£20)

REPORT – We had waited until 2.30 and could not wait any longer and the customer had not packed the items.
False: These Items were ready to go when they arrived. How exactly would you have put a yard broom in a box?

  • None of the large gardening equipment, (£50) o tiki lamp and oil: lamp (now collected by my husband) o Umbrella stand, (now collected by my husband).
  • Tarpaulins, (now collected by my husband) o kids paddling pool, (now collected by my husband)
  • Shelves and cover (now collected by my husband)for propagator frame (£90 for new set as it’s unusable without the shelves), 
  • None of the 20 plant pots that I said I wanted at the initial survey went onto the van (£250 for remaining pots and new plants), some have now been collected but nowhere near all of them. They did not even try! 
  • One of the two white folding chairs, (now collected by my husband) o
  • Set of shelves in small shed, (£20) o pet cage and carriers in small shed (£120),

REPORT – We had waited until 2.30 and could not wait any longer and the customer had not packed the items.

False: These Items were ready to go when they arrived.

Fuel for extra trips to collect what your men left behind has so far been £60.

 

Upon Unpacking:

The boxes were just dumped in pile in living room with no discerning order or divided by room. While we appreciate that we said we didn’t mind shifting boxes into rooms ourselves, some sense of order would have been appreciated and even expected from people who do this for a living. Due to the mixture it took me nearly two hours to find my children’s’ bedding.

REPORT – on arrival at new property we were told to put all heavy items upstairs ( beds ,wardrobes etc), and everything else downstairs . No boxes were labelled apart from about 5 – 6 boxes. How can we put them in some order?

False: We were told that they would only do the furniture. All boxes were labelled apart from the few that were packed in a hurry upstairs and even then it would have been obvious to anyone with an ounce of sense to stack the unlabelled ones together.

 

2 broken wine glasses £10 for new. Box very clearly marked as ’fragile -glassware’ had been dumped at bottom of a pile of heavy boxes.

REPORT – If these were packed properly in a proper box then this would not of broke.

False: They were properly wrapped and in a clearly labelled box only your men were too lazy to read it.

 

Trod mud through house on to newly cleaned carpets. No effort initially made to prevent it, and did not wait to find a doormat. It took more than an hour to clear it up this morning.

REPORT – Only accessed house via concrete path, not sure how this happened.

False: Because our stuff was dumped all over a sodden front lawn.

 

A mark has been left on new paint in the hall that & won’t come off, that we will have to explain to the lettings company.

REPORT – I can only say that we are as careful as we can be, our terms and conditions states that we are not liable, attached T&C item 12

I will repaint.

 

One of your staff was extremely rude to one of our new neighbours before we had even arrived, and bragged about it as if he were proud I am extremely unimpressed and would like to know which of our neighbours it was so I can extend an apology and maybe repair some of the damage. I make a point of being friendly and courteous to my neighbours and your man’s behaviour will reflect badly on me. Your man may think it was funny to be rude when a neighbour complained about where they parked, but I certainly do not. It’s not him that will now have to deal with the fallout from that, as anyone familiar with good customer services will know.

REPORT – Matt had a few words with a neighbour about parking the lorry, the lady didn’t want the lorry outside her house, we tried to explain the reason why and talks broke down, after about 10 mins the lady came over spoke to us and matt and she apologised, Matt also said sorry, just trying to be polite.

I did not witness this ‘apology’ despite the fact I was in and out to the van myself because as soon as my husband’s back was turned they stopped for another 40 min chin-wag while they watched ME shift boxes after they had been bleating about time. There was no sign of any of the neighbours during that time so I fail to see when they had the opportunity. As the rest of what these buffoons has claimed is utter rubbish, you’ll forgive me if I assume that this is another lie.

 

Our bikes and bbq were not taken through to the garden, but just left unlocked on the sodden front lawn damaging it in the process. I eventually had to pull them in myself.

REPORT – Terry and Mrs Johnstone spent 20 mins trying to open rear door , once Terry opened the door Mrs Johnstone shut it again and was not able to open it, and we were told by her husband that he would do it later.

False: The door was left open the whole time once it was open in expectation of items being taken through. I pulled it to, just to preserve heat, but instead that the bbq and bikes were just left there. I told them when they were leaving that I would do it.

 

White Ikea wardrobe. Front left leg broken off and rear left damaged (see above photos) leaving the structural integrity compromise and is not repairable. There is also a deep scratch across the front of the right hand door, and a hole knocked in the back. Not only was the damage done but it was deliberately hidden, not mentioned to me or my husband and left for me to discover. When I tilted the unit to put it where I wanted it, the broken leg which had been pushed into place by
one of your staff, fell away causing wardrobe to fall forward. I require a refund of £60 for the new unit. This is doubly serious as it now poses a real safety risk to my children and I will have the inconvenience and expense of disposing of the damaged unit.

Total cost to us = £620

 

REPORT – wardrobes were fine when we left, they had blankets around them while in the lorry and also tied off. If you had tried to move them without lifting it could quite easy rip the leg off. (Please send pictures)

False. I have moved those wardrobes before without an issue several times. The leg was just shoved underneath and when I initially tilted it back the leg fell away. I sent pictures in the initial email (You know, the first email, you were about to dismiss out of hand until I got my husband involved.) but have attached them again below.

 

I was told the lorry was not big enough, and that due to time they would not do a second trip because they were worried about getting home. I don’t really consider that to have been our problem we were already paying for their time. I can only say that they should have parked elsewhere, and brought a bigger truck. I will cost us nearly the entire price of the move to replace the items left your men behind, and damaged, and for fuel to collect what we could ourselves. Considering that your quotation was based on a visual survey carried out by you, and we were assured that it would be moved in one trip, we are greatly dissatisfied with the service we received, and we consider your company to be in breach of contract. I hereby claim the value (£620) of goods lost and damaged, to be returned to us without delay.
As I said above, I hope we can settle this amicably.

REPORT
Your husband has already indicated that you was not ready for us, we had delivered the packing materials as and when you asked for them which left you plenty of time to pack, but you left a majority of it, to do on the day. We can’t be held responsible for your lack of organisation. We offered to help, at a very reasonable cost but you declined, if this had been accepted you would not of been in this predicament. This is not our fault.

False: It is your fault if you can’t do your job and accurately judge the size of the van needed based on a visual survey. My ‘lack of organisation’ was me doing it single handed while my husband was at work from the moment the boxes arrived while looking after 3 small children (one was only 6 weeks old at the time, but excuse me for not being able to move fast or lift things straight after having a baby). I have already said this, and you clearly have not taken any of it in because you keep just repeating how your incompetence is actually my fault . If the boxes had arrived more than 2 days before our move we might have made more progress. I made it very clear it was urgent. How many more times do I have to tell you that the downstairs and garden was ready before it sinks in, and your men chose to start on an area we hadn’t finished despite our instructions. We did NOT leave the majority to the last day (the majority was furniture and we would have been faster had I not had to re-do work I had already done and clear up mess caused by your staff. The offer of ‘help’ only came after the information that the van was full and by that point I was not prepared to hand over more money. As soon as I had paid the initial amount, your men slowed right down

Any removal company would expect, when arriving that you should have been packed and ready to move, we can’t be expected to wait until late in the afternoon for you to finish packing, then drive at least 1 hour, start unloading, normally 2-3 hours to unload then drive home, returning at 8-9pm without a further charge.

It’s only a 40 minute drive.  Is it me or do they seem unwilling to do their jobs?

Your men would not have been waiting around had they followed my instructions and packed the downstairs first (again, this was ready and waiting to go) but instead ignored me. We have gone through the whole sorry issue again without you addressing why the areas that were ready were not packed so I can only assume this is now deliberate avoidance.

If you was packed properly and ready, we would have got all of your stuff into one vehicle, if this was not possible we would arrange for another vehicle to take the excess stuff.

False: No amount of speed would have made the lorry less full. And packing would not have taken as long as it had had I been listened to and left to pack the upstairs without having to resort things I had already done. It was clear the upstairs wasn’t done but they went ahead regardless. My husband asked about a bigger van and was told they were all out on other jobs. Speed of packing the van would not have made it any less full. As I have repeated over and over again, in the vain hope that it sinks in. The downstairs was ready to be packed, your men chose to ignore it and do their own thing rather than pack allow us to do the upstairs while downstairs was being loaded.

Your operation is a shambles and I will be alerting Watchdog and the Office of trading Standards, not to mention the local papers in Thurrock as to your shocking conduct and appalling customer services. At least I will can try able to save others from the same treatment.
Anna

We have now replaced the wardrobe but I don’t want the money for it, I want his fucking balls in a bag! If ever a company should go out of business it’s these clowns which deserve it. So spread the word. Don’t use this company unless you want to be ripped off and have your stuff lost and wrecked, and for them to just deny it.

Deep Scratch on door

Deep Scratch on door

2013-02-01-063

Hole in the back

2013-02-01-064

Leg broken off

2013-02-01-065

Second leg damaged

How will the benefit cuts affect your children? | BabyCentre Blog


How will the benefit cuts affect your children? | BabyCentre Blog.

The cuts to family benefits and tax credits are a punitive measure against middle-income families which will not save a penny and only cause hundreds of families hardship.

We are on a single income of £35k (pre-tax) with a 3yr old, a 1yr old and another due in 5 wks. We were informed that not only will our tax credits will stop (forcing us to cut back £140 a month) but have been sent a letter saying we now owe them £577! I don’t work because we can’t afford child care and we both believe it’s our responsibility to care for our children ourselves.I don’t know how we are going to manage this unexpected bill but I would sincerely like to thump the money-grubber who decided that we are ‘undeserving’ despite the amount of NI and tax we paid prior to my giving up work to have a family. This is a stress I could really do without.

I have written to HMRC to question where they got that figure from.

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